March 24, 2021; The journey to get there 

Today I became a grandmother for the first time. My daughter gave birth to a healthy baby girl at 9:02 a.m. Beautiful Emilia. I am overwhelmed with emotions.

The sense of anxiety I felt throughout the night waiting for word that all was okay was visceral. I was worried about my unborn granddaughter but even more so for my daughter, my baby.

Did I tell you I hate not having control?

The last text message I received from my daughter was at 10:30 p.m. letting us know her water had broken.  Then silence. I tried to sleep but kept waking up to check my phone for further developments.  Finally, when my alarm woke me at the normal time, I reluctantly went through my morning routine to get ready for work.

Did I mention my daughter and her husband live 1,300 miles away?

When I could not take it any longer, I texted her for an update.  ‘It had been a brutal night of ups and downs and now the contractions are coming fast.’ Again, I waited.  On my way to a morning meeting the text accompanied by beautiful pictures of both my girls came through.  If I had been in my office alone I would have cried.  Cried tears of relief, tears of joy and tears of complete amazement that I was a grandmother.

I am trying to understand this new role just added to my many other roles of daughter, sister, and mother.  When you put it down on paper, the succession seems to make more sense.

The word grandmother conjures up images of plump, gray-haired, be speckled matronly women, probably because my grandmothers both fit this description perfectly. I do not.  I have worked hard to stay in shape, color my hair and proudly wear only reading glasses – which I am highly dependent on to see anything up close!

How am I going to justify being called grandmother if I don’t fit this description?

Baby time

The plan was Tim and I would come to ‘help out’ at three weeks.  Our son-in-law was fortunate to have two weeks off to spend with our daughter and Emilia.  It seemed only fitting they should have this time to spend together and figure out their new normal.  So, we packed our bags, flew across the country and showed up both eager and ready to be part of team Emilia!

You forget how amazing it is to hold a newborn.  Their fragility and perfection. Their complete reliance on you to provide for their every need.

But they are tougher than we give them credit for.

As our baby week progressed, I realized those of us who had babies 25 – 30 years ago were at a huge disadvantage!  The products available now to take care of these little 6-pound wonders are crazy impressive and as we kept saying while we were there, “why didn’t I think of that?”

Here is a breakdown of some of the best products out there, from the perspective of a new grandma:

UPPAbaby MESA car seat by UPPAbaby

First, when they picked us up at the airport she was safely snuggled in her UPPAbaby MESA car seat, big bow in place on her tiny head. This modern marvel looked so comfortable and was so easy to snap in and out of the car.  Remember the days of having to buckle the car seat in, pulling the strap as tight as we could and it still kind of wobbled? Those days, for good reason, are long gone.

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Snuggle Me Organic Infant Lounger by Snuggle Me

My favorite item was the SnuggleMe. This unassuming item is so useful! The name describes it perfectly.  The newborn fits so snuggly, enveloped by rolled sides.  You can safely set them in it and not worry about them. It is highly transportable, even into the bathroom (like when grandma had to go and there was no one else awake!).

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UPPAbaby Vista V2 stroller by UPPAbaby

A close second was the UPPAbaby Vista V2 stroller. Now this was no cheap item- I know this first hand as Tim and I contributed to the stroller fund, but well worth every penny (or $100 bill)!.  This stroller has so many options for attachments it will see them well through baby number 2 – if they decide gifting me with another grandchild is in their best interest!  For our morning walks, the bassinet attachment with cover was perfect for newborn Emilia.  With the Snuggle Me keeping her safely snuggled, she quickly fell asleep and enjoyed the smooth ride the UPPAbaby provided.

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SNOO Smart Sleeper Bassinet by Happiest Baby

Another must-have in these young parent’s eyes was the Snoo Smart Sleeper Bassinet. I was a little skeptical at first, because it was a little more expensive than your normal bassinet and you literally snap the baby onto the mattress.  However, the security, as well as the rocking and swooshing sound were so effective in soothing little Emilia she was sleeping soundly for four plus hours at a time.  My daughter explained it to me this way, “human babies are born a trimester too soon because their heads grow too large to pass through the birthing canal so they need the simulation of the womb after being born to lessen the shock of being exposed to the real world.”  My daughter, like her mother, does her research and found this helpful piece of information in the book, The Happiest Baby on the Block, a must read for all new parents. The Snoo simulates the sounds and movement of the womb, increasing in intensity as the baby grows in agitation, but also shutting down if the fussing goes on too long.  As a mother with a daughter who had trouble calming herself to sleep this is an amazing invention.  Now if only they would invent one for restless husbands!

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Baby Brezza Baby Bottle Sterilizer and Dryer Machine by Baby Brezza

The last item I want to mention is the BabyBrezza-One Step Sterilizer and Dryer. This little wonder sits on the counter and quickly dries and/or sterilizes all the breast pump parts, bottles, pacifiers and anything else a tiny baby may need.

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So, what is the one item they wish they had purchased or registered for?

hiccapop Wipe Warmer & Dispenser by hiccapop

Believe it or not, a wipe warmer. All those diaper changes and Emilia definitely hates the sudden sensation of a cold wipe on her bottom in the middle of the night! I did a little research, because that is the expectation with all things baby, and I think I will send them a hiccapop Wipes Warmer & Dispenser.

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Bows, bows, bows

Now that I am up to speed on all the latest and greatest baby items, how hard can it be to be called grand –‘mother’? Oh, and did I mention all the bows?! I remember putting a bow on our daughter for her three-month picture – it was a covered piece of elastic with a bow on it – it left a railroad track ridge on her head and I felt horrible!  These soft, beautiful bows in a multitude of colors provide a lovely frame of the babies face while also providing warmth.  Now why didn’t I think of that!

I now know to define my new role of grandmother I need to look past the stereotypes of how you look. It is not about fitting a mold. Just like a baby makes a parent, a granddaughter makes a grandmother.  Oh, but it is so much more than that-for grandchildren build legacy and the capacity to love. I remember, how after I had my daughter I thought I could never love as pure and deep as I did at that moment, and then I had my son and my love grew exponentially.  And now, with my first grandchild, my heart feels as if it could burst from my chest – quoting Dr. Seuss, “it seems his heart grew three sizes that day.”

With a full heart and a sense of wonder at my good fortune, every time I see a new picture of baby Emilia in yet a different colored bow-

It makes me smile.